Hi there! I know I’ve been quiet on the blog lately. The truth is, I took a little break to put some thought into how I want Muse in Bloom to take shape. I took a vacation. I read a lot. I did some knitting. I talked to my friends and family. And I made some decisions about the future of my blog.

When I started this blog back in 2017, it was supposed to be about embarking on a weight-loss journey. The change in direction of my blog reflects the tremendous personal growth I’ve experienced over the last two years. I’ve changed careers and changed cities. I’ve gone from hiding from cameras to posing in front of them. In the face of all this change, both personally and professionally, I feel that it’s time to put more time, more energy, and more of myself into this blog.

I’ve been reading a lot about the fashion industry and its impact on people and planet, and I was a little torn about building a fashion blog when I know that the industry has a lot of problems. I was thinking very seriously about only showcasing ethical fashion on my blog. The problem I came up against was scarcity – almost no one is making plus size clothing at all, let alone ethical and sustainable clothing. If I made this choice, it would be next to impossible to build content at all, and the future of my blog would be in doubt.

At the same time, I know that there is a real visibility problem when it comes to plus-size people in fashion. We rarely see ourselves reflected in advertising campaigns, movies, television, or anywhere else. So staying silent didn’t seem to be the right thing to do either.

Visibility matters. Representation matters. My voice matters. If someone can read my blog and see themselves reflected back in the content that I share, then I’ve accomplished what I set out to do.

So I’ve decided to pour my heart and soul into this blog, showcasing ethical and sustainable fashion when I can and, when I can’t, choosing well-made clothing that will last. I’m going to use this blog to show that plus size fashion can be cool, quirky, and fun, and that women like me deserve to stand up and be seen. I’m going to write about other things that I care about as well – things like self-love, mindfulness and meditation, money and personal finance, fitness, productivity, travel – and much more!

I care about people and planet. I care about self-love. I care about food, fun, friends, and family. I want to share more of this with you.

So to you, dear reader, welcome. I hope you find something here that inspires you, that informs you, that makes you smile. Welcome to my world.

(Side note: there are no affiliate links here, I’m just sharing because I have tried and/or am interested in trying the following brands. Enjoy!)

Rainbeau Curves

This plus-exclusive brand is based in San Francisco and offers some great basics for your workout routine. Check them out here.

Shefit Sports Bras

It doesn’t get much more size-inclusive than this. I’m dying to try one of these high-support sports bras. If you have one, let me know how you like it in the comments!

Fabletics

The place to go for seriously pretty workout gear. Fabletics could do a better job of including plus-size models and influencers in their campaigns, but they have shown some improvement over the last few months. If you want your outfit to stand out in class, you might want to check them out.

Joe Fresh

Joe Fresh has done a lot for size inclusivity. They have a lot to choose from, the prices are rock-bottom, and the clothes fit well. My favourite workout tank is from Joe Fresh. You can see what they have to offer here.

Tema Athletics

This brand caught my eye for a few reasons. 1) they are size-inclusive; 2) they are highly engaged with their followers; 3) they are a women-owned small business; and 4) the clothes are seriously cute. They frequently have 50% off sales, so keep an eye out for that.

Glamorise Sport

These may not look as cool as the Shefit bras, but they are size-inclusive and have a lot of sizes and colours to choose from.

Your Day Won

Started by plus-size supermodel Candice Huffine in 2017, this brand looks so cool that I want to wear every single thing they make.

Girlfriend Collective

I found out about this brand from Fat Girl Flow’s Instagram. Size inclusive (up to 6XL!) and made from recycled water bottles, this brand’s offerings are a standout ethical choice.

Beyond Yoga

Pretty expensive, but with some unique designs you won’t find anywhere else (sparkly ombre leggings, anyone?)

Good American

Speaking of expensive…Khloe Kardashian’s fitness brand is just that, but also, just, so cool. This brand is big on inclusivity, and every design is available in all sizes. You can also choose to view the items on the website on size 0, 8, or 16 models.

2018 was a big year for me. It was a year of change and upheaval, of good times and bad, and of tremendous personal growth. Now that it’s over, I have the time to reflect on the lessons I’ve learned and the attitudes, beliefs, and goals I will be carrying with me into the future.

In the last year I came to realize that my chosen (second) career path wasn’t working for me. Despite the time, effort, and money that I had invested in learning a new discipline, I couldn’t shake the conviction that I was in the wrong place. Turning my back on three years of hard work and late-night study sessions to jump into something new and unknown was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make, but once my mind was made up, I never looked back.

Do you ever find that the moment you make a big decision, the universe starts to open doors for you? Almost immediately, a great job opened up in another city. I applied, was offered the job and I took it. It turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made. I look forward to jumping out of bed every morning to go to work. This is a first for me!

During my time of doubt and indecision, my dedication to fitness waned. My unhappiness with my situation leached into every aspect of my life. I stopped trying to eat healthy, stopped going to the gym, stopped doing the things that made me happy. I now realize how damaging, and indeed dangerous, this was. Now that I’m in a better place, I’m taking stock of the lessons I learned to ensure that I never stop taking care of myself, ever. I will be bringing these lessons with me into the new year, as I make 2019 the Year Of Me.

Before I move into my list of goals for 2019, I thought I would share a few goals I’m NOT making this year:

• Weight loss goals. NO. Not now. Not ever again. These kind of goals are way too damaging to my self esteem. The personal trainer I was working with early last year was always trying to get me to step on the scale. I usually refused to do so but on the rare occasions that I did, it never failed to leave me in tears for the hour session that followed. I was in the best shape of my life, and a number on a scale had that much power over me? Forget it. I’m leaving this one in 2018. Thank u, next.
• Diet goals. I was speaking with one of my friends recently who told me that she had decided she was never going to diet again. Her reasoning? She was tired. Tired of dieting, tired of fighting with food, tired of trying gimmick after gimmick that never worked. To that I say, amen. Dieting can stay in the past where it belongs.

Dieting is such a powerful idea in and of itself that it deserves a few subcategories of behaviours I refuse to engage in this year:

• Categorizing foods as “good” vs. “bad.” Nope. Food is food, enjoy it. Life is too short to worry about this kind of thing.
• Eating less to “save room” for a big occasion, like Christmas dinner. Nope. I eat when I’m hungry, I’m not going to mess with my head like this.
• Judging other people for their food choices, or accepting judgement from others about mine. To each their own. If you want to diet, I support you. Just don’t expect me to join you.
• Comparing my body or my diet to someone else’s. I’m me, I’m perfect, my body is perfect, I don’t care that I can’t find my abs. Ab visibility and worth as a human being are not connected. At all.

Now that that’s out of the way, we can get on to the good stuff! I am so excited about 2019 and all that the future has to offer. I left a lot of toxic thinking behind me this year. I made a tremendous change that felt impossible until I accomplished it – now I feel unstoppable knowing that I can handle whatever life throws my way.

Here are the things I want to manifest more of in 2019:

• Easing back into fitness. I don’t have a set “goal” for this, other than that I want to get moving more in 2019. I love fitness classes and that feels like a good place to start. I would also like to acquire an elliptical trainer this year. Putting on some upbeat music and going for a run on the elliptical is one of my favourite ways to relax.
• Learning to cook. This is a huge goal for me. When I was younger, I thought that cooking was something that should be left to the experts – I had no idea how to do it and no desire to learn. That’s changing for me now. I have come to understand that cooking is an essential life skill. If I want fresh, delicious food on a daily basis, I’m going to have to make it myself. This year I’m going to take some classes, get some new recipe books, and get busy in the kitchen!
• Establishing a daily meditation practice. This is something that I did on and off in 2018 that I found tremendously helpful. This year, I will commit to daily practice.
• Being meticulous about my skincare. My skincare routine is something I can get lazy about when I’m tired, but it is an important part of my self-care routine, and one that I won’t be skipping in 2019.
• Spending more time reading. I am an avid reader and have kept a list of every book I’ve read since 2009. This year, I’d like to spend less time browsing the internet and more time with a good book.
• Practicing better sleep hygiene. If you’re anything like me, you keep your iPad on your nightstand and fall asleep watching Youtube videos. This year, I pledge to replace the iPad with a book and fall asleep reading. I’m also going to aim for 8 hours of restful sleep per night.
• Growing my blog. I have big dreams and plans for this blog, but in the past I have let fear hold me back. Not this year, fear. I have things to do.

And there you have it – my self-love manifesto for 2019. I’d love to hear about your goals and plans for 2019 – feel free to leave a comment.

Best wishes and good luck in the new year! – Annette

The truth is, my opinions on weight loss and body positivity have changed quite a lot since I started Musing on Losing.

After I published my blog post on my experience with the seven-day I Quit Sugar reboot, my aunt referred me to a book called Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. The authors suggest something that seems absolutely radical to people like me who have struggled with their weight their entire lives – stop dieting.

Say what?

This book completely threw me for a loop. I realized that with a lifetime of moral judgments about whether a particular food is “good” or “bad,” and whether I was “on” or “off” my diet, I had severed my connection with my natural intuition about what, when, and how much to eat. It opened up the possibility that eating can be natural and pleasurable; that I could reestablish a healthy connection with my body; and that I would never have to count another calorie again.

In other words, I could be free. Free of diet culture, free of fear and judgement, and free from using food as an emotional crutch.

Revolutionary.

So what does this mean for me? It means that I am never, ever, going on a miserable diet like that awful 7-day reboot ever again. It means that a cookie is not a sin. It means that my worth is not defined by any number on a scale. It means that I can enjoy exercise because I love it, not because I’m trying to lose weight or fit into a particular item of clothing. Clothing should fit me, not the other way around.

Above all, it means that I can love myself fully, unconditionally, the way I am right now, without losing a single ounce. I am beautiful, I am worthy, I am loved.

Now there’s a radical thought.

So what does this mean for Musing on Losing?

I’m going to be focusing much more on what I love – fashion, fitness, fun. I want to put a body-positive, forward-thinking focus on topics of interest to me. Life is way too short to waste it wishing I was anything else but the happiest version of myself.

It’s okay to give yourself permission to just be. Be who you are, what you are, as you are. If there are things you want to change about yourself, approach it with love. If you don’t want to change, then don’t! You only get one life; so go out there and live it!

Wishing you a whole lotta love –

Annette